Mental Health, perseverance, Philosophy, spirituality

Free Will

I had spent many years in retail after obtaining an Associates Degree in General Studies. As my chronic pain condition (suspected Fibromyalgia) and Generalized Anxiety Disorder worsened it got harder and harder to handle it. I took an online course in freelance writing because I was so curious on if I was interested in this or not. At the time I realized that I was and enrolled in my local University, West Chester University of Pennsylvania. For two years I started to realize I could not handle commuting back and forth and upholding good grades full time so I switched to half-time.

I still struggled because of the long commutes, obligations from toxic friends who insisted on me giving them attention (I had finally gotten rid of them by now), and attempting to do work study along with classes. When I looked into SNHU I realized that this was honestly the easier way for me to learn. I have various learning disorders, and this program helps me in ways the other school could not. The program was better as well since I did not have to go through various language classes for an English degree.

Currently, I realized after attempting to do some freelance writing while I was in the market for a new job (which I finally achieved one) I realized that my love of writing was more-so on the casual pace. I love writing blogs and fictional stories, but the stress of attempting to find clients and such was just not for me. I had been able to get some experience in it, but I was not enjoying it like I thought I would. When I decided to go to Penn Foster alongside SNHU for Medical Administrative Assistant, I realized maybe I should get into the medical field. It had always interested me since I was a child. So, I am currently asking to change my major. I do not want to be a nurse or a doctor, but I do want to possibly work as a Medical Assistant (I’m not sure yet because of the physical demands), get EMS training (just for personal curiosity and want to help people in an emergency such as a natural disaster or something), etc. I want to start with the administrative level since a less physical job is perfect for my pain condition.

The reason I am sharing my story is because of this discussion topic. I did not have to go back to College. I could have just worked and worked until I was able to find something better. The reason I went is that I wanted to follow my dreams even if they are ever changing. English was not meant for me, but now I believe the medical field is. It interests me. When I was little I watched surgery shows. While my mother and Gram turned away, I was fascinated with the blood and how people were fixed up. Even the idea of doing sutures is interesting to me. (If I don’t end up going through EMS training I might get a training kit from Amazon just to see what to do. I won’t be the first to do it but if no one is around and its days or miles from help its good to know).

If I did not have “free will” I would have just done what my family wanted me to do and find some government job or live off of Social Security Disability after getting diagnoses (if that). I think that having free will or not having free will depends on the person. If someone does things because of their environment, because society says so, or because they don’t believe they are able to do anything else that no, they do not have free will. Someone brainwashed by friends, certain societies, even some extreme religious groups are not able to control their own actions. Stepping away from that and doing what “you” want and dream of is what gives free will. That is what I believe. Free will depends on your choices.

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